


All in the Code

by still_lycoris



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Family, Sexism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 09:45:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17261981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/still_lycoris/pseuds/still_lycoris
Summary: Sometimes, Kiyomi rather likes the secret part of it all.





	All in the Code

There was a (childish) part of her that really rather relishes the “secret” aspect.

She knew that was childish. Ridiculous too. What sort of decent little girl ever wanted to grow up to communicate through coded messages, saying one thing while reading another? Certainly not her, she knew that. All right, she’d had a little fantasy when she was younger. Gone through a stage of reading detective fiction, buying those silly books about how to be a spy and all that nonsense. But she’d grown out of it, aided by her parents, of course. Her parents would never have permitted her to be a detective or a spy and Kiyomi’s parents were extremely good at preventing anything that they didn’t want to permit.

She respected them for that. One of the (many) problems that this world had was letting children just do anything that they wanted to. Rather than being guided, they were given a wishy-washy idea that they could do anything without effort, simply be handed things on a silver platter. That nobody had expectations of them so they didn’t have to try and excel.

Kiyomi had always known differently. Her parents knew what she was capable of and expected her to reach it. She was intelligent so she would always get good grades. She was pretty, so she would make sure she was well-turned out but never, ever trashy. She would be well-behaved, moral and upstanding and a complete credit to them and herself.

Which she had managed flawlessly, even if she did say so herself.

She told Light about it once, while they were sitting in the hotel room and he’d signalled that they should have some sort of casual, unimportant (to Kira) conversation for a while. She could almost always guess things like that, just from his body language. It made her a little smug. He’d told her that Amane didn’t understand things like that and just from meeting the girl, she was sure he was right. Amane obviously didn’t understand a thing about anybody. Now _there_ was someone who hadn’t been properly brought up and all right, yes, her parents had been murdered but for Amane to go so completely off-the-rails, well. That said something about what benefit her parents had been to society beforehand, didn’t it? Had they had any expectations for their daughter at all? Had they made those clear? Probably not.

She didn’t say that though. She knew they were listened to and it would have sounded catty. She avoided cattiness. It made you look weak and Kiyomi didn’t like to look weak. Weak people were pathetic. You had to be strong if you wanted to get through this world.

Instead, she just talked about her parents and their high expectations.

“They must be very proud,” Light said.

“Oh yes,” Kiyomi said firmly. “Very proud. Well, they’ve been complaining that I haven’t found the right man yet, of course. What if I get too old?”

She did a good imitation of her mother’s voice and Light laughed.

“Didn’t you worry about that?”

“No,” Kiyomi said firmly. “I’d rather have ended up a Christmas Cake than stuck with some of the men people tried to set me up with!”

She meant it too. She had high standards and she would never drop those standards. It had, perhaps, been the only thing that she and her parents had really disagreed with. It wasn’t that they hadn’t wanted her to put her education to good use and have a career but they’d certainly expected her to find a man and settle down and been faintly puzzled by her refusals. Her mother had told her she couldn’t expect perfection but Kiyomi had chosen not to listen to that. Why couldn’t she? _She_ put effort into this. _She_ knew how to talk and how to walk and what to say at the perfect moment. _She_ didn’t say stupid, clumsy things or behave childishly? Why should she expect less of any man that came her way? Why did they get some sort of pass just because they were men?

Light had always stayed in her mind as someone who understood. He’d always stayed presentable, neat, calm. Intelligent and mature, even back then. She didn’t want to say that he’d ruined her for any men but ... well, perhaps it was all right to think that. After all, they were back together now, weren’t they? Perhaps it really had been some sort of destiny, guiding them back together. 

She was perfect. Why shouldn’t she expect the same thing?

“They’ll be glad to meet you,” she said. “At least it will prove me right!”

Light laughed again but he was beginning to look distracted. She didn’t blame him. Of course she didn’t. He was Kira, she couldn’t expect him to stay with her for too long. And sometimes he did, sometimes he’d smile and take her hand and stay with her for hours so she couldn’t blame him for the days when that couldn’t happen.

She looked forward to the day that it wouldn’t have to be this way though. Even if she might miss the drama of it, the clandestine nature of it all, the secret messages and codes in their words and the knowledge that everything they did mattered.

Maybe she would tell him, when it was all over. They’d laugh about it together. Though perhaps it would make her look silly, weak and she didn’t want that. 

Maybe some things were best left unsaid.


End file.
